November 2009
1 post
Ever spend 37 years waiting to see what would...
October 2009
4 posts
September 2009
26 posts
Reblogged from hubby
(Huz) Me: Your photo is making my tumblarity go up
(Me) Wife: Is that what you named your penis, "Tumblarity"?
(Huz) Me: Whatever it takes to make you pay attention
Spare a hair?
Dear Huz,
In an effort to save money, I decided to give up waxing and go totally hippie, hairy muff this winter. I know the thought makes you wince, but you really should be thanking me, since you know how those Brazilians can add up. In fact, this morning I shaved my legs in the sink, broke your razor and clogged up the drain. We probably have to call a plumber, but I figure by next spring the...
“I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and...”
– Lewis Grizzard (via bipedzed)
I'm at SAMS club decimating my dignity
No, wait. That’s right. I really am.
In between crying
“He’s pointing at me!”
“She won’t let me get dressed!”
“She scratched me!”
“I don’t want to get dressed.”
“I don’t want breakfast.”
“I don’t want to go to school.”
“I want to go to school right now.”
“I want to wear shorts!”
“I want to wear sandals!”
“I want toast, no cereal!”
“I don’t want milk!”
“He’s looking at me!”
“She’s hurting my ears!”
“Stop it!”
“That’s MINE!”
“He hit me!”
...
I didn't even notice the cold weather
*Pours milk over her fourth bowl of cereal*
Oh Yeah?
Your mother and your sister didn’t seem to mind.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was Monday. Thank God I’m still asleep an only having this horrible nightmare.
I forgot to charge my phone last night before passing out. Is this what criminals feel like when they get their ankle bracelets removed? Try to find me!
1 tag
July 2009
1 post
